Taking a break

Wednesday I told my business partner Matt that I needed a few hours off for myself – a mental health break. We’ll it didn’t work out so well, as I left the office my phone rang and it was my daughter calling saying she needed a ride. I then found myself shuttling my daughter here, picking my son up there and feeling guilty about not being at work. That led to remotely checking and answering emails and doing some other business stuff.

Yesterday morning I woke up dragging, I thought it could be the change of seasons affecting my allergies or who knows¬something else. Matt and I had a 9 am meeting and I knew I had to get some stuff done after that but I was also determined to get the mental break I sought. I told Matt it was take 2 on my short day.

But here I was, 2.5 hours after I stopped working writing this blog post. Professional acquaintances I know would tell me that I again defeated the purpose of a mental health break by getting on the computer, checking email and writing this post with the limited down time I have. At least I’m trying though.

But I feel a need to write to share. My last couples of post have talked about some negative issues we faced as the owners of canvas during our intro into the market. As we get closer to our first anniversary of the publication I have also begun to think about all the positives I enjoyed being part of this as well.

The need to look at this came to me as I attempted a brief mediation during the afternoon. More important than the specific experiences I had is the overall positive experience that canvas has afforded me.

Here are some positives that came to mind today, in no particular order:

Being able to drive my daughter here or pick my son up there, to be part of their lives is a great gift. Previously if you asked my wife, Adele, she would have described the last 3 years in my old job like this. “Tom usually got on a plane either Sunday or Monday flew back into New York Thursday or Friday and had little time for anything other than work.” How familiar does that sound?

Another positive has been finding out just how supportive Adele is of my efforts. She gets up at 5 am, takes a 6:49 train to the city, works in a high pressure job, comes home and does mommy duty. Yet she still wants to make me lunch, not that I can’t, but she wants to, to save money and have me eat healthier. This is just a small example what Adele is about.

Then there’s meeting my business partner Matt and his new wife Tara. They are great people, fun to be with, genuine and supportive as well. Matt and I didn’t know each other prior to this endeavor and it’s been a great, wild ride so far and I’m looking forward to the rest of the journey.

The unbelievable team we work with at canvas from Ramin (who has taught us everything started in Persia and Trinidad!), Jen, Bryan, Liza, Annette, Renee, Lenn, Brian, to all the writers, copy editors, designers and others who help get this book out every month.

Why did this come to me today? I guess it’s because as any new business we have our struggles and it takes it toll emotionally and physically. Ergo mental health break. It also has a way of zapping the positives you see each and every day. After the mediation earlier this popped in to my head.

As I talk with former co-workers, reflect on the ups and downs of this ride I realize, I wouldn’t trade this for the world right now.

Just last week when someone learned I’m a co-founder of canvas she said “I feel like I’m talking to a celebrity.” After I blushed and assured her I’m not a celebrity – I thanked her for her kind words about the magazine and told her we’d keep working to earn her support. I also want to thank her for helping me start to reflect on the last 21 months since the idea of canvas and Footprint Media took seed.

You know what? We are lucky because we hear praise like this almost everyday!! And I’m not only thankful to her but to everyone who has shared a kind word with us.

You might be saying, ok Tom, enough already. But it’s important for me to say to my family, extended family, co-workers, friends, supporters, vendors and advertisers THANK YOU.

Tom Pellicane – Publisher, canvas Magazine