canvas Dropcloth

Our January issue theme is renewal, to that end I made a commitment of personal renewal to myself. That included attempting to complete a cleanse in the New Year. Proudly I can say, last week I completed the Ultimate Energy Cleanse and for those that know me, they know the sacrifices it required. The cleanse entailed a week with no coffee, carbs, no processed food and no satisfying other cravings.

Sunday night was the last night and when I saw my dinner plate of steamed spinach, edamame, green beans and salad I had just about enough. Yet I made my way through the meal–some of it at least–and stayed true to my commitment. I’m proud of this accomplishment because in the end I know is for the betterment of me and indirectly for those around me. Going through the cleanse also gave me a greater appreciation for people like my wife, Adele, who has made commitments like being a vegetarian (which I am not), eating healthy (which I try to do but she actually does) and being disciplined enough to practice what one preaches (which I usually do and she always does). For everyone out there like her, I salute you!!

It was also interesting to talk with my business partner Matt during the week. He has focused on many different areas of holistic living and self development, of which doing the cleanses has been one. Some of his thoughts helped motivate me to do this in the first place. When talking about holistic living, Matt told me that, in his opinion, my focus on my personal development was as great as many of the approaches people he’s seen coming through more traditional holistic practices such as yoga. That was a good point for me to reflect on during the week.

I was told going through the cleanse week could be emotional, enlightening and energizing. All of which I found to be true at different points. Although I don’t understand why I found myself doing a lot of self reflection, there was a lot of it. Part of the time was spent considering the food items I consume and the whys behind it. While I didn’t come away with a lot of answers to life questions, I came a way with the better understanding of what’s important to me personally.

I guess in the end what I came away with after the week is that we all have to realize we need to care about ourselves since we are the ones most able to take care of our own selves. Additionally I learned even though I have not considered myself holistic in the past, my ongoing efforts to improve my self really is holistic in nature.

Beyond that, I learned that with everything in life there are always some who are ahead of us and some who are behind. Most important for me was to keeping striving to make self-discovery and renewal an important part of our lives. It’s important to challenge myself to do new and different things. Only through this process can we reach higher planes and attain goals we might not have thought before possible.

Last night canvas sponsored the premiere of Black Gold at the Huntington Cinema Arts Centre. The movie was an enlightening look at the effects dominant players in a market can have on people in developing countries. While this is an over simplification, you get the point.

We chose to sponsor this event because we felt it aligned with our values and it did.

As I talked with a number of attendees, I was told a few times how much our magazine was enjoyed and in many cases was read cover to cover. This is not the first time I’ve been told this and we’ll work hard to make sure it’s not the last.

That said, often times the conversation ends with two statements. One is that we remain true to our vision, which Matt and I know we will. The other is that we have the staying power to succeed, in other words stay in business. This second statement is more challenging because our wants and desires will only take us so far.

After the movie ended, there was a discussion on fair trade and one of the women in the audience eloquently said it begins with you. She went on to tell us the baby steps people can take to create a ground swell around fair trade products.

To that end for those that have praised canvas and told us how much you enjoy it and how you hope we have the staying power to last, we thank you and ask for you for your help in creating a ground swell for our mission. If you patron our advertisers please let them know what you think of canvas. If there are people you think that should be advertising with us tell them and tell us.
Although in no way am I suggesting we face the same struggles of those in the film. An analogy can be made that similar to the farmers in Black Gold we are trying too deliver the best quality product to the market we can, at a fair price, in an arena filled with dominant players.

If you had not planned see that movie, you may be missing out on developing a better understanding of what many people, in many places want for themselves and their families… to improve their lives through hard work, dedication and education.

As the holidays approached, I found my stress level increasing with each day that came and went. I also found that as my stress level increased my criticism of life, issues and people. The things I read about in the news, the war in Iraq, media issues here on LI that I wish were different. I found myself focusing more on the things I didn’t like than things I did like. Around the same time, I was asked to supply a blog entry for canvasli.com, so in my mind all I could think of was what I didn’t like, what made me frustrated and what I wanted to be different.

My intuition told me not to write it so I procrastinated writing the entry, all the while with this nagging feeling that I just didn’t have the right topic yet. While contemplating the different subjects I could choose to focus on, I heard a small quiet voice: “Be in Praise of Praise.” This was a quote I have heard from a wise old man and mentor of mine many, many times. When I first heard him utter that saying, I had no real idea what he was talking about but it came from a man who has dedicated his life to personal introspection, and when he says something, I have learned to listen.

Over time it worked its way deep into my being. I was reminded of it many months ago when my business partner and publisher of canvas said: “Matt, I am not sure how you used to do things, but when reviewing a process, I like to focus on what went well first and then move on to the areas that can be improved.” It hit me hard and I knew in that moment, that he was someone whom I could work with and trust. He was focused on the good first and foremost. I was very impressed all those months ago, and even happier to adopt the same practice and to see that it wasn’t a one time experience; Tom invokes that standard for every review process of the business. So as I contemplated my subject dilemma, and with it being Christmas Eve, and the with the New Year around the corner, I asked myself: Do I want to be critical of others during the holidays? And do I want this to be how I start my New Year? The answer was a definite: No! I want to be Grateful, and I want to be I praise of praise.

Yoga, meditation and exercising every morning usually keeps me feeling energized and ready for the day. However, it only helped so much to stave off the dark moods of those dark early mornings. It was actually another practice that helped bring me back into balance as the winter solstice drew closer. As each dark morning was a challenge for me to dig down deep inside and literally force my self to smile and start the practice of being grateful. I knew that after December 21, the days would be become brighter, that it would get just a little bit easier to get up at 5:30 a.m. and go outside for my morning walk.

This was practicing gratitude and being in praise of praise. Being thankful that I am alive, that I am breathing. Being thankful for the simple things in life, like the trees, the birds, the rain, fresh water to drink, healthy delicious food to eat. For the wonderfully aromatic smells of the earth after a heavy rain, the bubbling giggle of child. That, I don’t live in a war zone, that I am able to walk, talk, think, care, wish, and pray. I am so thankful for all that has been given to me, what I have worked hard for, and what I have been able to give. I am thankful for the people in my life that support me and are loving, caring human beings. I would chant these mantras as I would walk or jog, and the feeling that would be built up inside my chest as I repeated these mantras was/is Absolutely Magnificent. The energy that was created was self-sustaining, it was like a force field of joy and appreciation for life. As things came up throughout my day I was able to meet them with more patience, more compassion, and more clarity. Repeating this cycle day after day, every morning for weeks was very helpful to my peace of mind.

Because of this, I wanted my first blog on the canvas site to be something that felt good. Something I am just simply happy about–like being alive. I am writing this on Christmas Eve, and as I move closer to the new year, my aim is to live more in alignment with and acknowledge more often what is good in my life, rather than to note so quickly what is wrong, or what I can criticize.

Like all human beings, I know I have the need to analyze and regroup and strive to do more and be more, but it’s also been a good practice for me to balance that out with working to just be, and be grateful.

The holidays have come and gone for me. Now it’s back up the hill again for twelve months.

I found myself trying to do a lot of self reflection on New Year’s Day, but with a 15 year old and a baby that is almost six months old it was kind of hard. I did get to think about the things in 2006 that were special, and there were many, I also spent some time giving thought to things in 2007 that will be special, as well as, those that are bringing anxiety.

canvas is going to publish our third edition in few weeks. That’s very special. The feedback from you, our readers, has been extremely positive. That’s special too. Our advertisers are telling us the magazine is working already. That’s even more special.

One of my anxieties I’m wrestling with comes from trying to make canvas the best it can be with the resources we have and overcoming the many obstacles along way.

Then again as I reflected I thought about the my obstacles and insecurities in relation to other peoples’.

I read a column over the holidays that talked about the need for water in Africa vs. sponsored goats, since they won’t have water either, or something like that. This helps me to appreciate all the things I have to look forward to in the new year. I know I’ll have water and won’t need to explain to others that while I appreciate the sponsored goat, it’s going to die too if we both don’t have something to drink.

Hopefully more and more of us will take the time to reflect on what we have that’s special for 2007, while looking at our fears and anxieties, and be maybe take the next step in helping someone else have something special in their new year.